Dinner & Dance

Good Morning.

It is officially Saturday because it has already past 12 midnight. Which brings my number of days of non blogging to two. Wow, the longest I've stayed away since the re opening of this blog. Anyhow, it has been a rather busy two days. No doubt it was a holiday on Thursday, which meant sleeping in late and waking up to do absolutely nothing and then lazing around the house. I managed to use all my time doing other things to be able to sit down to blog. Hahas. Surprising isn't it? Anyhow, I'll just vaguely recap what happened on Thursday and all because Friday night is actually what I want to talk about! So off we go, on this wonderful adventure of reliving my past two days!

Thursday was spent doing almost absolutely nothing. Hahas. I did wake up early, with the intention of gaming but decided my time would be more worthwhile to stay in bed and rest. Hehes. I woke up again at 1 when my dog, my darling I love ever so much, decided to bark non stop until I dragged myself out of my bed to open the room door for him. After having to open the door twice, I decided that it was time to get off my lazy ass and play some games. So I started gaming and then lunch. Ok, so now is the ever so boring part where I'm either just gaming or lazing around. Although in the mid afternoon, when mother came home from taxi driving, we went to get my hair trimmed for the next evening! x) The pretty hair dressing lady trimmed my hair and then straightened it for me (: After getting my hair trimmed it was home, movie "Shall We Dance?" which was awesome by the way, and then off to bed! All in anticipation for the next day to come.

And finally the day arrives for my first Dinner & Dance with the company I'm working at. The day was passed with anticipation and when it came to the time to start dressing up, I was totally freaked out and I didn't have any idea why! Anyhow, I got myself into the dress, passed my things to mummy and off I was to my first Dinner & Dance. It was pretty exciting and fun! The before dinner activities were extremely interesting and I got two gifts. One, from playing a game and another which was given by queuing up for the item. Well, it's almost 1am and my eyes are bloody tired so I'll post pictures up tomorrow. At around 7pm, the doors were opened and we were all seated. There was lots of laughs and jokes and talks between the table so it was all good fun (: The entertainment for the night wasn't really that interesting so it was pretty good that the conversations at the table were entertaining and interesting to keep me awake and in a better mood. And yes, I won something at the lucky draw. Hahas. No, it wasn't anything fancy or even the top ten prizes. It was actually the 91st prize and as of now, I have no idea what it is because I need to go collect it on Monday at the WorkLife Booth. Hahas. It's pretty funny when you think about it.

Ok, so I'm really sorry that I need to cut this short. Because my eyes are really tired and I think the excitement of the day is wearing out and every thing's catching up with me. But that was basically it. There were a lot of conversations and situations but I can't possibly type them all down because it would then be scandalous and wrong. Hahas. After the dinner mother picked me up and we came home. She's already in bed and I'm on my way in because my eyes are tired! Ok, I'm starting to get pissy. So yes, it's off to bed time for me. I've got a photo of me in the cheong sam and I look like I don't have a tummy. Hahas. I'll upload it tomorrow I promise! So, this is me disappearing from here. *poof*

Amanda Loves You (:

I don't understand me.

Good Morning.

This would probably be an extremely bleak post because that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. Plus I don't have the energy to put up the pretence that I'm happy. I don't know why but this injured knee seems to be a wet blanket to everything I've been doing these few days. Well, for one, it has totally made me hate coming to work in the morning. Yes, I hate going to work. The job that I had loved only a week ago has become my most hated daily activity. I hate having to limp my way to the bus, up the bus, to the train station, up the train, off the train, through transit, up the train again, and the long trail to work. I hate it. Then I hate the small space that I have that they call a desk, and not enough space because I'm making more space for the SKINNY girl beside me to put her things. I thought I was being nice, but now, I am totally pissed off and annoyed. I hate having to put one leg up, while the other down because again, due to the foreamentioned lack of space I have at the office. I hate it. And just, I realized that I need to use the e-mail that I do not have access too on my computer. Now tell me, how pissed off and annoyed would you be? Because I bloody well am. I can't even believe I'm waiting for her to LEAVE before I can do anything on the computer. Because I have been chased off the computer once before. There isn't going to be another time I'm going to get chased off. Once bitten, Twice shy. Or whatever the proverb because I'm too darn lazy to go look it up and make sure that it's correct.

And yes, with regards to my heading. I don't understand me, not at all. I don't understand why I sometimes think that the world revolves around me or that people actually care about me when they obviously don't. Am I that blind to the things around me? I don't understand how blind one person can be, but apparently I am. Hahas. Well, I can't carry on this debate that I've had mentally over the past four years. Well, after shit started happening and all, but it could've been before then I really don't know. Well, Sasa is waiting for me. No, that's not her real name. Remember the no name rule? (: So yes, Sasa's on her way and I need to go for lunch. So I'll be back soon. Probably tomorrow because tonight I'm going to be gaming the whole night. Something to take my mind off reality. Ok, she's here. I'm off, see you!

Amanda Loves You. (:

How fragile life really is.

Good Evening.

This post is going to be short and sweet because it's late and I need to sleep soon. I so can not afford to be late for work again tomorrow. Well, I'm not blogging from work as you should be able to tell. Work was busy today. I actually learned more stuff, like helping the Mrs with the report that we are 'doing' together. It was pretty fun and tomorrow, I'll be using the most up to date computer to help her with more stuff! Helping someone sure has it's perks. Aside from being busy, I was also annoyed. Like really, really annoyed this morning that I had to go to work. Well, after being woken up by your dog at 4am who promptly went back to sleep the second you got out of bed to open the door for him. And waking up to an aching knee. I was pretty much annoyed. And the thing about work now, is not that I've lost my love for it. The thing is just that I detest sitting beside someone I really cannot stand. And no, I'm not equip or even capable of being civil because just looking at her makes me annoyed. If you think I sound like a bitch or whatever, stop reading and go fish. Anyway, I was pretty pissed on my way to work, and at work for a while till around just before lunch. That was when I found out mummy was buying lots of books for me from the Jumble Sale at the convent outside the church! Yes, I was totally happy because of that. Not only did she get a few books for me, she got thirty three books! Can you imagine the time I would need to read all those books! That is very much time well spent (: I am seriously thinking of having lunch alone with my book. Going to a quiet place, where there's sun and breeze and just have lunch and read my book. Hahas. But that's consideration for another day.

Nothing else happened today. My knee hurt even more. It's horrible, I know. I only hope it gets better before Friday. And I'm seriously contemplating on just wearing flats than forcing myself to go through the pain of walking in heels with this injured knee. But we'll see how it goes. I also wouldn't be able to get my hair done because Thursday is a public holiday and the lady that does my hair, doesn't come to work on public holidays even if the dresser is open. Well, too bad for me I guess. Got patched up again in the evening before I went home. Tomorrow's the time to change my dressing. I hope the Nurse in the office can help me with it. Because the last time I was left in the dressing room with another nurse, I looked like I had my whole knee cap scraped off. Hahas. We'll see how, but I really do hope the Nurse in the office could do my dressing for me again. It's ok if you think I'm vain, cause I know I am. xP

Mass was a painful event. So I shall skip that and jump to the funeral part. Life really is indeed fragile. Just before we arrived at the Taxi Uncle's Mother's funeral, God bless her soul, we saw these two police men running furiously, dashing across the road to run up this building. I'm not entirely sure why. At first we thought, we meaning Mama, mummy and myself, that it was the police chasing a robber. However, with mother's superb eye sight, she saw someone on the building trying to jump down. Or that's what she saw anyway. And it made me think that two policemen would dash across roads, even when traffic wasn't warned to stop, just to try and save one life. Life must really be precious huh? And then at Taxi Uncle's place. I personally do believe that when a person dies, we shouldn't mourn but rather rejoice that they've moved on to a better place. When my great grand mother died, I didn't cry until that one evening when I realized that I wasn't going to see her anymore. I was happy for her, at first anyway. That she was going somewhere else. Some place where she could walk freely. Where she could do anything she wanted, without worrying about her joints aching, or falling over or even tripping and injuring herself. Some place where she could be free, and not confined by the ailments of her body. And yet, at her funeral, I saw my grand aunts, grand father, grand mother, uncles, aunties and cousins alike crying painfully. And still, I couldn't see myself crying. Because inside, I was happy. Happy for her. Frankly speaking, I think all my cousins thought I was weird when I didn't cry by her bedside when she died or even at the funeral. But I was happy for her. Even if I knew I was going to miss her. Miss seeing her during the festive season, during Chinese New Year, Birthday celebrations, Christmas. But I did cry. I can only figure that it was when I finally realized that I really wasn't going to ever hear her voice or see her smile again. But the tears didn't last long, because I knew she was happy where she is. Because that's what the bible promises us. Eternal Life after death. Anyway, back to the Taxi Uncle. When we sat down to eat, I noticed that his hands were shaking. Well, basically his whole body was shaking ever so slightly that if you weren't looking closely, you probably wouldn't have noticed. And I realized that even as happy as we are for someone who has passed before us, there will always be sadness at a passing. How does one actually be happy and yet sad at the same time? I'm not sure. I used to think that when my grandmother passed away, I would be happy. Happy that I wouldn't have her nagging at me anymore or scolding me for no reason. But then there are days when I imagine her gone, and I feel tears spring to my eyes. And I'm not sure. I'm not sure if can be happy that she is somewhere where she is happy and peaceful, or sad that she is gone and that I'll never see her again.

This post, although not very well detailed out because I have a million thoughts running through my mind and not enough time or energy to catch them and put them properly, is dedicated to those who I know who have passed on. Even people who I didn't know very well, but meant something to people close to me. I hope you're in a happier place, one where you're free of the confines of your earthly body and earthly worries. And this post is also for those who've lost someone they loved or cherished. Death is a part of life, but being sad at their passing is inevitable. Missing them is undeniable. But treasure the ones you have now, so you have good memories to think back on rather than cry for losing the opportunity at making wonderful memories.

So on that last note, I'm out of here. It is getting later and I'm a little upset I can't sit here and type the whole night because I have work tomorrow. So if you've lost someone or know someone who has lost someone they love, just take five minutes from now to sit and think about them. And next time you're at a funeral of a friend's loved one, take time to sit with them. Because friendship is one of the best medicines life can give us.

~ To the soul, there is hardly anything more healing than friendship. ~

Thomas Moore

Amanda Loves You

First day on the job with an injured leg.

Good Afternoon.

I have just finished my lunch. Well, I have some more fishballs but I need to make them hot first, so I'll do that later (: Since no one is in the office, I'll take this opportunity to blog about yesterday and today. Well, today till now because I wouldn't know what is going to happen tonight. But I could try and predict for you what I'm going to do. Hahas. Anyway, yesterday first.

I finally caught my much awaited Gilmore Girls! Logan is still as hot as ever! Hehes. I watched to watch Veronica Mars as well, but I was talking to her and Monkey. After the show, I decided to game a little and my character on SoF gained two levels! Do I rock or what? Hehes. Well, before that, and before the talking, I didn't make it to church. Well, I woke up at 7.30am. We were not late. But I just laid in bed and looked at the ceiling. Trying desperately to ignore the pain in my knee and just thought about going to church. And then I realized that I didn't want to go to church. Mainly for the fact that I would see him, her and them. So I turned on my side and went back to sleep. I woke up again at 9am and found out that mama had sent the bread to church, and so I just hobbled back to bed and went to sleep. After all, I didn't have any more reason to go back to church did I? (: Well, then I woke up at around 11 and we waited till mama came home because last week, we had lunch first and she complained that we didn't wait for her. But alas, she came home full and we were hungry. So mummy went down to buy lunch for us. Rice for her, noodle for me (: After that, I started talking to her. You can get the full story if you just scroll up and start reading this paragraph again (:

Nothing much happened yesterday evening, aside from the fact that I went to bed in tears again. I don't know why, but I still can't figure out what's wrong with me. Not physically, not that I think so anyway. But maybe mentally or even socially. I really haven't known anyone who wasn't able to keep her friends. Well, the majority anyway. There was a topic we touched on when I was talking to her on Saturday night. My singing. Hahas. It's almost laughable, but I actually do like singing. Even if none of you have heard me sing before. I used to sing a lot when I was younger. Even if I was out of tune. In church, in the car, at home, almost anywhere I had music and didn't have people who were liable to stare at me. And how elated I was when we joined the choir to sing for the Confirming Batch before us. Well, before I joined the choir, I thought I had a reasonable nice voice. Some people did tell me that I had a nice voice, but that was over the phone so I don't know if it counts. Anyhow, I thought I had a reasonable good voice. And then I joined the choir and well, apparently I'm tone deaf. So yeah. I did, for a while anyway, stop singing in church. Stopped singing in the car. Or rather caught myself everytime I started to sing along. I only ever sang when I was alone. That was about it. Then after a while, I figured I shouldn't stop singing in church because it's church right? And then one day, while I was singing in church, this european/american guy turned around and said 'You have a nice voice.' And yes, I did blush and I was so happy. But then, something she said made me wonder if the guy was being scarstic. Hahas. I don't know. Maybe I think I have a reasonable good voice, but maybe it's a bias opinion since I'm judging myself. And actually in real life, my voice really sucks and anyone who hears it is bound to appreciate even a baby crying. It's almost like how I thought I was wronged, when maybe I wasn't wronged because the majority thought I wasn't wronged and actually rightly accused. Anyway, back to my singing. Sure mother says I've got a nice voice. But she's my mother. It's almost like how she says I look pretty when I know I'm not pretty. And how she says I'm not fat when I know I am fat. Hahas. So I don't know. Should I stop singing or just sing only in church where the choir can mask my voice and not sing anywhere else where I'm liable to harm anyone's ears? I don't know, I'm second guessing myself so much I'm actually getting a headache.

Anyway, this morning, woke up late. I'm guessing it was because I was up for at least an hour last night before I finally fell asleep. Anyway, hobbled my way to the toilet for my shower. Which I managed to get done without as much pain as I had anticipated. Hobbled my way back into the room to get dressed and then it was off to work! It was drizzling slightly so I took the bus down to Bishan instead of stopping at Ang Mo Kio. Train ride was pain-less and the ride to work via the shuttle bus was all right. It hurt when I was rushing for the bus, but it didn't hurt very much after that. Oh, my dressing has been changed and it's very ugly and very big. Sorry to the Staff Nurse that did it for me, but I much prefer the older dressng which was small and neat! Hahas. Ok, I'm evil I know but whatever xP My knee hurts more than it did before.

Oh yes, up to my changing of dressing, I came to work and the apples weren't here yet. No one bothered to call the company to ask them where the apples were or if they were on the way when it was already 9am! That's my first frustration. So then I was requested to go to the recruitment office to pick up a new girl, who unfortunately would be working in the clinic. Yes, I may be a bitch when I say this but I don't really care. I can't wait for her to GO. Ok, so back to work. After coming back and and calling the person in charge to let her know, I went back to my seat. Only to find out that she had not called the Pharmacy to come collect their apples. Second frustration. Remind you, my knee was already starting to hurt! So I called them, and then was asked to bring the girl up to the clinic to meet the Sister. After which, the Sister In Charge unfortunately caught me and asked me to go and redress my wound. Which I am going to tell you about now and make you understand my pain. *giggles evilly*

It was all right when she first peeled it off. Only to find that the waxy part which was not suppose to stick to my wound WAS actually indeed stuck to my wound. Hahas. Maybe it wasn't suppose to stick to my skin but not not to the wound. Hahas. You understood that right? Anyway, moving on. So she drenched my wound in alochol, I think it was alochol, to help the thing loosen it's grip before she ripped the padding away from my wound. After doing it twice, it didn't work. Well, a little came off, but not everything. So I closed my eyes and told her to do her job. And boy did it hurt! If I had something in my mouth, I would've bitten it into two pieces. Hahas. So she cleaned my wound and then bandaged it up again. It was a very big piece that she put on my knee and when she put the plastic covering, she wasn't exactly very gentle about it! Anyway, I left the dressing room with a larger bandage and more pain than before. Although she did say it was healing pretty well so I hope it gets better soon. I think I'll still stick to wearing pumps. It might look a little weird, but I don't know. See how things go I guess (:

Anyway, back to work. Nothing else to say really. I do sincerely wish she would be leaving as soon as possible because I don't know how much more I can actually endure. I am liable to hit her one of these days >_<>

Amanda Loves You (: