What does family mean?

Good Morning.

It's again an early morning post. 3 minutes to 11 and then an hour before we meet Sasa for lunch. And by we, I mean the girl sitting beside me and me. It has been a while since we've had lunch together. Yesterday being the first time in about 5 days. It wasn't too bad. No blood, unfortunately. But it was as cold as ever. ALthough I find that with detatchment, I'm less irritatible and annoyed. Anyway, at least there will be a buffer today. And I'm not really feeling up to conversation at the moment because I'm feeling a little light headed. Hope I'll be ok with a little sun and exercise. I feel like I'm moving in my seat, that and my head hurts. I seriously hope it's nothing. Because the last time I felt like this, I fainted, in the middle of a car park. Anyhow, more troubles are ahead for me, unfortunately.

First being the irritatible mother I have at work today. Somehow, I don't see how I can eridcate any of the blame off my grandmother's shoulders since after all, there isn't anyone else to blame there is there? Although blaming her, isn't as unreasonable as it may sound to be. After all, who leaves without helping with the clearing up? Sure, given she's old and needs rest, it's not like my mother's superwoman even when she tries to make it so. And yes, I am pissed off at that she has to try and be superwoman so that the other relatives in this big community we call Family, would be happy and keep their mouths shut tightly. But that is beside the point. The point here right now is that I'm actually annoyed at my grandmother for doing what she does. That and it's painfully obvious that she doesn't really care about our well being. But there are so many factors aren't there? And to even discuss this problem, would bring up a whole other string of problems which I have successfully managed to sweep under the rug. So I don't know. Somehow I just wish she would wake up one day and realize that we're doing the best we can to please her. While the rest of her family, note I said her and not mine, because really, I only have my mother as my family. And Pharoh of course. As I was saying. While the rest of her family just tries to act as though they are trying to please her or even care for her. I mean, giving her money is one thing but demanding she doesn't do this or that with the money should not be something a daughter or son does right? And no, I don't tell my mother what she can or can not do with the money I give her. And no, it's not because I'm not yet an official adult. Anyway, this light headed ness thing is making me sick. I think another paragraph and I'm off to rest a bit before lunch.

Heroes yesterday was a good show to have watched. It's settled though, that this Friday, we're going to check out the gym. I really, seriously need to start losing weight T.T Ok, I can't take this anymore. So I'm off. I'll be back tomorrow. Probably in the evening. I'm gone. *poof*

Amanda Loves You (: