Good Morning.
It seems all my posts are done only when a quarter the world is asleep, while another quarter is having lunch. The other two quarters, I'm not very sure what they are doing. I should be in bed, yes, even if it is a Saturday already. Mother's still sleeping and I don't have the heart to wake her, but if I don't, she'll just complain about how we don't have enough money. Sometimes, I wish I could drive or at least find a good paying job. Hopefully with this new job, I'll be able to get us through. I'm still thinking of how to occupy my Mondays to Wednesdays. Anyone with help, let me know please? I'm almost desperate enough to do anything.
I just finished a movie marathon of sorts with mummy. Fast and Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Fast and Furious - Tokyo Drift. A few of the best shows I've watched in a while. It seems the racing fever has got us. We watched Death Race the other day. Caught Herbie: Fully Reloaded on Channel5 last Sunday. And now this three movies. The cars were really awesome and maybe, if it weren't for the traffic Singapore roads endure everyday, I just might take up driving. You know, racing for cash isn't so bad either. It's just, it's not exactly allowed in Singapore is it? Hence, there's no avenue to earn money. Right now, I'm regretting not going for the job interview for the F1 race weekend. Sure there wouldn't be a guarantee that they would've taken me but, I still had a shot right? Anyway, let's not dwell on that anymore shall we? I made my choice, let's move on. So watching the show, something from the last movie struck a chord with me. A quote, which is pretty much a good quote to keep by yourself for the long run.
Life's simple. You make choices and you don't look back - Han, Tokyo Drift
If you think about it, it really is that simple isn't it? The hard part is sticking to your choices and not looking back. How many of us really makes a hard decision and not look back? I've looked back a million times, even if it wouldn't really change the past, I still look back. Isn't it only in our nature to long for something unattainable to us? I don't know, I'm just throwing out random suggestions. Maybe I should, start today, to make the choices I want and to not look back. No matter the outcome of these choices. I also need to stop looking back on my other choices. Frankly speaking, I don't know if I can. Did I mention, I'm talking to ST and BT again. The two people I thought I would never talk to again in my whole life. I admit, it's easier to approach a person online than it is to approach a person in real life. Maybe that's why I flourish better on screen than off screen? I don't know where this is going. I don't really want to know either, because then it'll only mean I'll have to make a choice of where and how I want it to go. I rather just sit tight and hold on. The ride's more fun that way, don't you think? I'm not sure about you though, EW. Can we still be friends when all we can do it talk online and never see each other face to face? I don't know if I can, so maybe I wouldn't try. After all, maybe you've already forgotten me. I should put all my efforts into forgetting you too, don't you think?
You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough - Frank Crane
Someone else told me something about trust too. I'm not sure if this is the quote word for word but, here it is. Trust cannot be earned; it can only be lost. What do you think? I think it's true. The person who said it, he said that we should trust everyone we meet. Not limiting our trust to how we first percieve the person but instead, trusting that person despite of what our initial impression of that person is. I've actually tried it you know, when school started. So far, it's been quite good. I've smiled at random strangers, not that I didn't before this but yeah. I've made a few new friends, within the OG and outside the OG. Now, I just need to find a way to get myself through it all. It's good to have friends isn't it? But what happens when you realize that you can't stand some of the friends you've made? That just by being beside them, or seeing them, you get annoyed beyond reason. You're trying so hard to keep it under wraps, but knowing you, someone is bound to notice it sooner or later. What do you do? I don't know what to do, except to act like I'm perfectly all right and play along. Another outing is coming up. I think it'll be a good trial run for me, don't you think? Except now, the only thing stopping me is myself and the need for money. It's about $10 for the food, I'm not sure about the bicycle rental. I really don't mind learning how to cycle, you know. It might be fun. And then myself. I don't know if I can endure another day like the last outing we had. I just, don't know. Or maybe I've just become lazy with staying home all day. I need to start getting myself to do some work aside from sitting in front of the com daily.
Ok, my mind's not working. I'm sorry. I was hoping to give you a better read. If it helps any, I'm planning to write another song fic. Hopefully it'll come out more successful and totally like what I was thinking about. Thanks for dropping by, I'm going to crash.
Amanda Loves You Lots [:
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