The worst day ever.

There's absolutely no qualms about it, today, the 24th of November is officially the worst day ever. I can't think of another day that can triumph today's disasters or emotional roller coasters. It started off with me not waking up to my alarm, which resulted in a half an hour late for class. Thankfully, he only went through the tutorial and thus I didn't miss much. The second mistake I made was to go down to the first two rows, thinking the people I call my friends would have reserved a seat for me (seeing as how a reserved seat is always there for Tricia when she never shows) and there was no seat. Not on the first row, the second row or the next four rows behind the second row. Well, I suppose it was luck that there was another seat on the first row on the other side of the lecture. And, Amanda ran across the lecture hall, in front of the damn lecturer while he was speaking. I don't know if I actually do blush when embarrassed, but I felt like puking out of embarrassment. It was, to sum it up in one word, horrendous. Well, at least talking to Josh helped ease the need to puke, not that any of the people I called friends bothered. After class, I decided to escape to the library because, where else can Amanda go to when she unfortunately has another lecture to attend at 3.30pm? On the bright side, I managed to do some Financial Reporting notes, as well as read up for Managerial Economics for the test that was suppose to take place during the next lecture. I decided to borrow the book on Thursday, because since it's the holiday and all, I will try my best to study as well. Instead of spending all my time with Tanesia, which I so desperately want to. It's always easy to forget the world when I'm with her. It's fun spending time with Josh as well, you never really know what he's going to say next. And sometimes, I wish I knew him better when I was with Alex. After the numerous texting, my phone battery decided to give out on me. Talking about that, let me go and charge my phone now.

Managerial Economics wasn't altogether that boring. I managed to write three paragraphs for 'The Bomb' which basically included the birthday bash scene where Patsy almost dies. No, she doesn't really die because her lover can't really kill her. Sometimes love makes us do stupid things, hahas. The test wasn't really a test, because the lecturer decided to go through what was going to be tested in the test just before he gave us the test, such a wonderful lecturer eh? Hahas. Anyway, sometimes I wonder if the people around me think that I'm just a stupid little girl to be pushed around, stepped on and used. It's frustrating sometimes, because I don't think I'm a very outgoing person by nature. Not with people I don't particularly know anyway. And sometimes, I'm just glad to stick with this group of friends even though they're ridiculous and well, trample all over me. No, I wouldn't say I am a sucker for pain or rejection or being bullied, because I've had enough of that when I was younger. So what is wrong with me now? Seriously, I have no f**king clue. I'm pissed half the time I see them, their lack of interest and mindless chatter gets on my nerves half the time, and still, I'm sitting with them during lectures. I'm seriously thinking of sitting away, this coming Thursday Financial Management class. I mean, why spend time with people who couldn't give a rat's ass about you right? Right.

So, the day's still been shot to hell. Cried at least four times today, ridiculous I know. And I foresee that I will be crying in bed tonight. I don't think it's because I'm overly upset about anything that happened today, I think it's just a build up of stress that I haven't been able to let go off. I'm stressed about school, about work. I'm upset with the people I call friends in university. And all I want to do everyday is spend time with the people who actually care about me, not the ones who use me as and when they feel like it, like I'm worth absolutely nothing to them. And here comes the problem, who shall I enslave to be my imaginary friend everyday? I have no clue. Hahas. Ridiculous, I know.

Well, it's almost 2.30am, and I think it's about time I go to bed and sob a little before I sleep. Hahas. I might probably have a nice long hot shower tomorrow morning when every one's out. Aunty Alice came to town and so, every one's going to spend time with her. I don't know, I don't mind spending time with her but, it's like everyone is fighting for her attention. Maybe I'm just weird or too lazy to try and display all my good points (probably because I have none, hahas!) and get pat on the back like a good dog. Ok, it's time for bed. My hand's wet from wiping my tears and I don't think I've the strength or patience to tell my mother why I'm crying for no reason. I'm just so tired, that sometimes, all I want to do is give up. But I'll hold on Steven, just for you.