Good evening.
It has merely been less than a day since my last post as compared to the whooping eleven days between my last two posts. I'm currently seated in my living room, just having taken my Sunday shower. Hair is still slightly damp as I've decided to not to use my hair dryer as I always do. I'm actually waiting patiently for the trailer of "Jumper" just to see a very fine specimen of a male. I'm sure some of you share my sentiments, although most of you might probably scoff at my choice of words. Anyhow, there are sweaty men playing tennis or badminton, I'm not entirely sure, at the moment and there is the resounding scrape of metal against gravel in the kitchen. Oh wait, I just noticed, they players are cute. Even with the dripping sweat and having to run from one end of the court to another. Stamina, there are so many uses for that particular skill. Well, as you might be able to tell, I'm getting distracted with the show of men running around the court and shirts flying for that hint of skin pulled taut against muscle. I have been reading too much fanfiction, I'm certain of that. It must be the cause of starting to read HP again. Oh my! He's only twenty. I haven't yet been able to figure out his name from the commentary but oh my! Twenty, aren't I turning twenty in less than six months? Hahas, I swear I do sound worse than a bitch in heat. Please do excuse me.
So, I shall spare you my continuous drooling over the men in shorts on my television. I do believe the show is over and now, it's time for the trailer of 'Jumper'. Hahas. Oh wait! They are back on again. Hahas. I think I should continue with my reason for this post and stop this drooling over men I'd never see in this lifetime. Hahas. Well, I just thought I'd share with you my just recently obtained experience of cleaning the kitchen sink. I wouldn't call it bad but I must it was at least a little fun. Well, the part when you feel the water pushing back against your hand for a way to escape. Have I mentioned how much I like water? Anyhow, I must say that I would be more inclined to help with cleaning the kitchen sink if it ever happens again. But aside from the kitchen sink, I was thinking of writing a one shot for a friend. A friend who was and still is on my list of 'Possible Best Friend' who tried to kill himself. Frankly, I admit I wasn't the nicest person or the most gentle when telling him what I thought when he told me just as I was going to bed this morning. And no, I'm not sorry about what I said and how I said it. And if you are reading this, continue reading. I always thought that it was ok, you know, to take your own life. Seeing as how, it is your own and no one else but you have a right over it. But now, I suppose, after everything that has happened, I beg to differ. I mean, sure, it still is your life to take but when you think about the people who depend on you or know you, it's not only your responsibility to yourself but to them to think about what you are doing before you close your eyes and take the plunge into the darkness. I don't deny that I've thought about closing my eyes and taking the plunge about a million times before and if I can help it, a few more hundred times in the years to come. For isn't it always the easiest way to close your eyes and take the plunge, knowing you wouldn't be around to handle the consequences? The thoughts of a one shot is still pretty fresh in my mind but at this moment I'm at a loss of what to write. I suppose that is cause I distinctively remember telling him that it's better to find solace in yourself than someone else whom you think knows you through and through. That and I expect that if a person were to stop themselves from taking the plunge, it should be because of that person's choice alone and not from the encouraging from another, although it does help at times of darkness to have even a match with you to help you see the way. I can't claim to know what he feels because I haven't out rightly been denied by someone I've claimed to love and then be played for a fool because normally, the guys don't stay around long enough to be just friends. Although I am forgoing this one shot on the terms I know I can never understand what you are going through or even try and put into words how I'd talk you out of trying that stunt again. Just know that I still do, love you. Even if I don't say it in so many words, or sometimes in too many words that don't sound like I do. Just know that I still do. And possibly, always will.
Well, I just finished watching the trailer of "Jumper" and I am definitely going to watch that show. I must say, he is pretty cute. And not to mention the girl is pretty hot. So, I am going to sit like a little girl and watch the movie that is on now. Maybe get started on my stories, although I doubt I'd write much with the show playing. But a girl can always hope for the best right? Well, I'm still on my hunt to get my notes from JC back so if anyone has the new numbers of Zac and Alph, please do let me know. Because I have a distinct feeling that they are avoiding me. And really, I need my notes back, please. So, I'm off again. Trying to get this messy life of mine back on track. I'll see you!
Amanda Loves You (:
