Rules that apparently, don't apply.

Good Morning!

No, I'm not actually feeling very elated or happy, the exclamation mark is merely to throw you off course. Bet it did. It has been an interesting 10 hours and I thought I should come and share my wonder and awe at the things some people do. Mainly, it's as the title says, rules that apparently, don't apply. I can't promise that it'll be exciting or something you've never seen before, it might mostly be just a ranting on my part. Hence I'm warning you first to click on the red cross, if you don't want to hear me rant, rather than complain that I've wasted at least 5 minutes of your time on earth.

Please ensure that you are at least half an hour early for Mass so you can prepare the equipment for Mass.

That's the first rule I'm starting off with. Ok, so maybe I had been a few times late before the rule was actually stated. Maybe it was stated because of me, and for that, I apologize. But, as a rule creator, I would think that you should lead by example. Apparently not. Or so I found out today. The equipment, which was suppose to be prepared at least 15minutes before Mass began, was turned on only 5minutes before Mass started. What is up with that? So, I would have actually forgotten about him coming late for Mass if he didn't come up to me and tell me to come early for Mass next Thursday. Now, seriously. What is up with THAT? I would have talked back to him if I was in the mood, but Lady GaGa's been keeping me mellow for a few days now.

Just do what I tell you, don't follow what I'm doing.

I've realized this has been broken by many. Parents, people in authority, and just about anyone who isn't firm in their own teaching. Many don't realize it though, I've just realized today. When we tell someone to not do something, we, ourselves may end up doing exactly what we had told someone else not to do. Someone's done that to you before, haven't they? Well, I don't encourage you to tell that person in the face that they had not done what they preached, but it's just something for you to think about. Although it is nice to point it out to them, just not in front of a crowd. It can be embarrassing.

Well, my nose is sufficiently annoying me enough to want to cut this short and head to bed. I'll blog more another day. Maybe I'll mention the funny wrong name accident I had with mummy today. It was truly hilarious! Well, April is here so I really should start studying. I'll drop by again soon! Especially when I get back the rest of my test papers. Thanks for reading, and come back for more! Hahas. 'Night all.

Amanda Really Loves You [:

Finding peace in chaos.

Afternoon.

It's been a while, a very long while since I last stopped by here for a chat. Many things has changed, and as you should be able to tell, I'm almost not as happy as I was the last time I stopped by for a bit. Well, granted I wasn't that happy the last time I stopped by here either, I could say I am worse off. The world's not a very allocative efficient place is it? I just finished a 5 hour lecture, I wouldn't go so far as to say my brains have been fried, but I have come out of this lecture happier than I did last Saturday and Sunday. Those who were around, you know why. For those who weren't around, let's just say I have a whole lot of information to catch up on before the 14 of May rolls around. If you still don't understand, give up. Or ask me on MSN, if you're very sure I wouldn't bite your head off.

In respect to boys, I don't know what I am really doing anymore. Everything always happens a little too late, and I've been regretting my decisions almost instantly as I make them. It's not a very nice feeling, trust me. I have decided though, to just stop making decisions until the last minute. It's almost like someone's waiting for me to make a decision and then throw some more paint into the mixing pot. It's bloody annoying, that's what it is. Or maybe, just too many movies playing around in my head. Just maybe. But for now, I would say I'm comfortable where I am. Scratch that, I'm constantly wondering if you're a good choice for me and for yourself. Well, mainly if I'm a good choice for you. And despite your assurances, I still don't feel assured. I would like to thank those who've talked to me and heard me out. The numerous shirts I've wet with my tears, the ears I've talked deaf and most of all, the hugs I've stolen without consent. You may not read this, but know that whatever I choose to do, I do it to hopefully make you proud of me. I don't want to be a girl who makes her choice because she's afraid of being alone, or of how the choice would affect her and her alone. I do it so that everyone in the situation would be better off, or at least in some way, better than there are now. Well, that should be about the length at which I'll think about this further. I am suppose to be taking a break from him, a long extended break that doesn't require me to think. Not even for a second.

Its unnerving how much I don't really know considering almost 8 months has passed since I started attending classes again. It could be my lack of a curious nature, and hence I haven't done anything over and above what was given. I can't say I'm particularly upset because not doing as well, would mean that I will pull up my socks and work for a better grade. I only do hope my work does produce fruits. Despite my sayings of quitting school or just forgoing the whole idea, I really want to do this. I don't know why, but I do. I would jump a leap and say that I actually do in real fact like studying, but that might be too much for my body to handle. Or even my mind, for that matter. It's really too much of a stress factor, than anything else. But then again, because you enjoy doing something, should it really come as second nature to you? I will buck up, I will. I might not do it as quickly as some, or as consistent as some but I really will. I just need to get over everything that is happening now and get down to studying. By getting over, I actually mean ignore. I don't intend to solve any of the problems I have now before I start studying. Because I, unfortunately, foresee that these problems are going to take countless nights, many more tears and more energy than I can spare to solve or even try to dissect the problem. Hence, studying will come first. And if any one is really interested, I got 48/100 for statistics. It's a pass, but I will be aiming to work for that 75/100. If I have nothing to show for my life, I at least want this to show for my time here. It may be shallow, but hey, it's Amanda right?

I really should be going soon. We've got mass tonight, and I actually intend to relieve some stress tonight via my constant way of killing monsters. It's really a pretty fun thing to do, killing monsters. Yes, it may have increased my violent tendencies, but haven't I already always been violent? Well, I really should be going now. There's really nothing else that comes to mind that I want to talk about, so I shall take my leave. I will be back soon, hopefully with a better topic than what I had in mind today. Finding peace in chaos. Ok, so I haven't even touched on it. But I'm sure you know what it entails. Finding peace in chaos. You need chaos first before you find peace, so, go out there and create chaos! No, I'm just joking. Ok, making lame jokes is a sure sign that I need to go. The brain has already put up the 'out for the day' sign, so I should stop knocking on the door to ask for help on what else I could possibly say in my blog. Hence, have a good day ahead and I'll be back soon. Hopefully.

Amanda Loves You [: