The worst day ever.

There's absolutely no qualms about it, today, the 24th of November is officially the worst day ever. I can't think of another day that can triumph today's disasters or emotional roller coasters. It started off with me not waking up to my alarm, which resulted in a half an hour late for class. Thankfully, he only went through the tutorial and thus I didn't miss much. The second mistake I made was to go down to the first two rows, thinking the people I call my friends would have reserved a seat for me (seeing as how a reserved seat is always there for Tricia when she never shows) and there was no seat. Not on the first row, the second row or the next four rows behind the second row. Well, I suppose it was luck that there was another seat on the first row on the other side of the lecture. And, Amanda ran across the lecture hall, in front of the damn lecturer while he was speaking. I don't know if I actually do blush when embarrassed, but I felt like puking out of embarrassment. It was, to sum it up in one word, horrendous. Well, at least talking to Josh helped ease the need to puke, not that any of the people I called friends bothered. After class, I decided to escape to the library because, where else can Amanda go to when she unfortunately has another lecture to attend at 3.30pm? On the bright side, I managed to do some Financial Reporting notes, as well as read up for Managerial Economics for the test that was suppose to take place during the next lecture. I decided to borrow the book on Thursday, because since it's the holiday and all, I will try my best to study as well. Instead of spending all my time with Tanesia, which I so desperately want to. It's always easy to forget the world when I'm with her. It's fun spending time with Josh as well, you never really know what he's going to say next. And sometimes, I wish I knew him better when I was with Alex. After the numerous texting, my phone battery decided to give out on me. Talking about that, let me go and charge my phone now.

Managerial Economics wasn't altogether that boring. I managed to write three paragraphs for 'The Bomb' which basically included the birthday bash scene where Patsy almost dies. No, she doesn't really die because her lover can't really kill her. Sometimes love makes us do stupid things, hahas. The test wasn't really a test, because the lecturer decided to go through what was going to be tested in the test just before he gave us the test, such a wonderful lecturer eh? Hahas. Anyway, sometimes I wonder if the people around me think that I'm just a stupid little girl to be pushed around, stepped on and used. It's frustrating sometimes, because I don't think I'm a very outgoing person by nature. Not with people I don't particularly know anyway. And sometimes, I'm just glad to stick with this group of friends even though they're ridiculous and well, trample all over me. No, I wouldn't say I am a sucker for pain or rejection or being bullied, because I've had enough of that when I was younger. So what is wrong with me now? Seriously, I have no f**king clue. I'm pissed half the time I see them, their lack of interest and mindless chatter gets on my nerves half the time, and still, I'm sitting with them during lectures. I'm seriously thinking of sitting away, this coming Thursday Financial Management class. I mean, why spend time with people who couldn't give a rat's ass about you right? Right.

So, the day's still been shot to hell. Cried at least four times today, ridiculous I know. And I foresee that I will be crying in bed tonight. I don't think it's because I'm overly upset about anything that happened today, I think it's just a build up of stress that I haven't been able to let go off. I'm stressed about school, about work. I'm upset with the people I call friends in university. And all I want to do everyday is spend time with the people who actually care about me, not the ones who use me as and when they feel like it, like I'm worth absolutely nothing to them. And here comes the problem, who shall I enslave to be my imaginary friend everyday? I have no clue. Hahas. Ridiculous, I know.

Well, it's almost 2.30am, and I think it's about time I go to bed and sob a little before I sleep. Hahas. I might probably have a nice long hot shower tomorrow morning when every one's out. Aunty Alice came to town and so, every one's going to spend time with her. I don't know, I don't mind spending time with her but, it's like everyone is fighting for her attention. Maybe I'm just weird or too lazy to try and display all my good points (probably because I have none, hahas!) and get pat on the back like a good dog. Ok, it's time for bed. My hand's wet from wiping my tears and I don't think I've the strength or patience to tell my mother why I'm crying for no reason. I'm just so tired, that sometimes, all I want to do is give up. But I'll hold on Steven, just for you.

And she's back.

Good evening.

I've just completed proof reading my Financial Reporting assignment which is due this coming Tuesday. Only a few days away, and why have I just completed it? Because I've been lazy and entirely too busy to have done much work without actually having studied first. What's the point of handing up an assignment if I was just going to crap my way through it, although I do admit there is some parts which I crapped because I have absolutely no idea what to say and really, three lines and one sentence do not make up a paragraph.

Yes, it's been an extremely long while. 6 months since my last post. One huge difference is that I am now officially twenty one years old. Hahas. No, I don't feel that old yet. Not when I'm still playing games and trying to act like a child. I don't think I really want to grow old, it seems like such a failing business nowadays. You can't really do much when you're old, well, not a whole lot anyway.

I highly doubt this will be a long post, simply because it's almost 12am and I do need to be up early tomorrow. I simply refuse to keep sleeping in, even waking up at 7am now, I'll be able to catch Tanesia up before she heads to bed, or even get into a conversation with Steven before he goes to bed, or even a morning discussion with Chris on how he should come back to Fiesta and of course, pay for my ticket to Australia to see his adorable new baby girl. Or, I could also just turn up the music and do some study notes. Yes, notice how it comes right at the back? Hahas. I need to start clearing my table if I wish to effectively study on it. Although I was toying with the idea of studying outside on that small table we have in front of the television. Of course the television will be turned off, I'm not into testing my will power all the time. Hahas. Have the computer in the room is a good enough test of my wills, which at the moment is losing the battle. As you can tell.

There's nothing much to talk about school, aside from the fact that I need to start bucking up before I just screw myself over again. Yes, I'm only doing 4 units this year because by some miracle, I actually passed all my subjects. Even with a just pass for Principles of Banking and Finance. Pretty amazed at myself, especially after all the almost sleepless nights with nightmares on my results. Of having to retake the papers, and all the financial trouble I'm probable to land myself in. But here's to looking forward and not backward, we are only a month away from the new year.

Work hasn't been that much more exciting. Fi gave birth already, to a little adorable little boy. The work load has definitely increased but I am trying my best to manage my time and not neglect my studies for my work and vice versa. This coming weekend is a public holiday so I am only working on Thursday evening. I will try my very best to catch up on my notes, especially for Human Resource Management. I've decided to skip the first chapter and try to tackle the other chapters first since the first chapter obviously requires a whole lot more of reading to be done.

It's almost 12.30am already, and I really should be going to bed. I will try to come back again and blog. I really do need an outlet to type, or to just speak nonsense. I always wondered why I didn't just keep a diary and did it online instead, where anyone and everyone can have access to it. I've theorized that I'm a possible attention addict but as of now, I'm quite content with the people who are giving me attention. Because truly, I can't find anyone else like them who'd give me just what I need and always whenever I need them. So here's my good night, and I'll be back soon. I'm thinking of trying to find interesting topics to actually discuss here, after all, I do need somewhere to practice my writing skills. Maybe if this degree doesn't work out, I might just try for that degree in journalism. It'll be fun to travel the world and write stories, or maybe just write that one book I want to publish. Dreams, sometimes they are the only things keeping me going from day to day.

And oh, before I do. New Moon is coming out, and I am tempted to go and pick out that book from the bookshelf and curl up in bed to read it. I know I'll definitely skip some parts which isn't suppose to happen but, what can I say? Sometimes I do have a relatively short attention span. And with that, this Cookie's off to bed.