I always want to blog on the go and I'm super glad I found the blogger app. At least now I wouldn't be confined to only blogging at home. I could do it in the car too, or at a dinner I'd rather not be at. Ha! Well, now I'm really heading to bed. Take care & be kind to one another (:
Saturday, August 9, 2014
What a week.
Hello.
It hasn't been a great week. I've been confined to my bed for the past two days, suffering from a fever that just would not quit and tonsillitis. I have absolutely no idea how my throat got inflamed in the first place because the last shot of alcohol I took was on the 2nd of August, and that was like, 4 days before my throat started hurting. Anyway, I surprised myself with how much pain I could tolerate because I refused to go to the doctor until my boss literally told me to go home, so I thought I should because I just wanted to collapse and sleep until things started making sense again. I suppose I'm quite lucky that the office temperate is always a degree too cold (because I was legitimately shivering - with teeth chattering and visible shaking) because my temperate measured at the Doctor's was 39.8 degrees. Anyway, that was also when I found out that my left tonsil was inflamed thus causing the fever too (along with joint aches).
Anyway, what am I doing here if I should be resting in bed. I can't sleep, for several reasons. My lovely neighbors are once again hosting their annual (National Day, Christmas, New Year, any time throwing a party can be justified) dinner party in the lift lobby. I suppose I should be glad they decided not to have another Korean BBQ because my room will stink and I'm way too tired to get upset. It's almost 10.30pm and it does sound like a couple of people have left / returned to the flat but there's still chatter outside. And I understand, because when life's so hectic and you're given an opportunity to meet with your friends over a long weekend, you want to talk and catch up but seriously, this is why people own homes or have set up cafes that open until after midnight. Anyway, there's no point getting upset because I'm already battling with this fever, I don't think my body can take anymore heat without shutting down.
Another reason I can't sleep is because my mind just would not stop. About work, about what's going on now, about my writing, and as usual, just thinking about life. There are so many arguments, so many things that have happened and I think I haven't really sat down and accepted it. Also, possibly it could be because I haven't gone through the necessary stages when you are given huge news. First and foremost, unfortunately, the anger is still very much present. I have my theories that it's the anger that had a part in me falling ill. I don't know how to work through my anger, usually I justify it in my mind and move on. However, this time, I've been annoyed for more than half a year and I suppose everything that has happened just brought it all to the surface.
You know, I always thought I was a very sad person. With everything in secondary school, junior college and the past couple of years after graduating. But a conversation with my mum a couple of weeks ago, she said that I was only really down when I was in junior college. It made me think, that I may be better at putting up fronts than I originally thought. Although, I do have a suspicion that I could be bi polar, with how quickly I can flit between emotions.
I think I should head back to bed again. Maybe staring up at the glow in the dark stars on my wall will help, and the medicine I'm going to be taking too. Until the next time, which I hope I will be better because I've had enough of wincing in pain every time I swallow (which is almost every other minute), take care and be nice to each other (:
It hasn't been a great week. I've been confined to my bed for the past two days, suffering from a fever that just would not quit and tonsillitis. I have absolutely no idea how my throat got inflamed in the first place because the last shot of alcohol I took was on the 2nd of August, and that was like, 4 days before my throat started hurting. Anyway, I surprised myself with how much pain I could tolerate because I refused to go to the doctor until my boss literally told me to go home, so I thought I should because I just wanted to collapse and sleep until things started making sense again. I suppose I'm quite lucky that the office temperate is always a degree too cold (because I was legitimately shivering - with teeth chattering and visible shaking) because my temperate measured at the Doctor's was 39.8 degrees. Anyway, that was also when I found out that my left tonsil was inflamed thus causing the fever too (along with joint aches).
Anyway, what am I doing here if I should be resting in bed. I can't sleep, for several reasons. My lovely neighbors are once again hosting their annual (National Day, Christmas, New Year, any time throwing a party can be justified) dinner party in the lift lobby. I suppose I should be glad they decided not to have another Korean BBQ because my room will stink and I'm way too tired to get upset. It's almost 10.30pm and it does sound like a couple of people have left / returned to the flat but there's still chatter outside. And I understand, because when life's so hectic and you're given an opportunity to meet with your friends over a long weekend, you want to talk and catch up but seriously, this is why people own homes or have set up cafes that open until after midnight. Anyway, there's no point getting upset because I'm already battling with this fever, I don't think my body can take anymore heat without shutting down.
Another reason I can't sleep is because my mind just would not stop. About work, about what's going on now, about my writing, and as usual, just thinking about life. There are so many arguments, so many things that have happened and I think I haven't really sat down and accepted it. Also, possibly it could be because I haven't gone through the necessary stages when you are given huge news. First and foremost, unfortunately, the anger is still very much present. I have my theories that it's the anger that had a part in me falling ill. I don't know how to work through my anger, usually I justify it in my mind and move on. However, this time, I've been annoyed for more than half a year and I suppose everything that has happened just brought it all to the surface.
You know, I always thought I was a very sad person. With everything in secondary school, junior college and the past couple of years after graduating. But a conversation with my mum a couple of weeks ago, she said that I was only really down when I was in junior college. It made me think, that I may be better at putting up fronts than I originally thought. Although, I do have a suspicion that I could be bi polar, with how quickly I can flit between emotions.
I think I should head back to bed again. Maybe staring up at the glow in the dark stars on my wall will help, and the medicine I'm going to be taking too. Until the next time, which I hope I will be better because I've had enough of wincing in pain every time I swallow (which is almost every other minute), take care and be nice to each other (:
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Nostalgia
Wow, it's been almost one and a half years since I last updated this blog. That sounds like a long time but time passes so quickly these days that I've given up trying to keep a close count.
What prompted me to come back? Nostalgia, I think. I just came back from a school reunion. It's been 10 years since I graduated from my secondary school and what a 10 years it has been. If I had time, like I did before, I would go through my blog to see how my mind worked back then. But I am battling tiredness and I do actually have a couple of other things I need to do before I head to bed.
I've recently cleared my room, which unearthed multiple diaries that I kept when I was in my younger teen years. That, in turn, stirred up an itch to get writing again. I really should have started writing when I started my new job, since I had so much free time. But unfortunately, I took to other hobbies, like creating my photo albums. Now, I'm so swamped with work that I'm too tired to even think about arranging and writing funny commentary for my photo albums over the weekend. However, I think now that I do have a proper desk with a wonderfully built computer, I should perhaps start dipping my toes into the writing pool. Perhaps maintaining a blog will help with my writers' block. I don't know if I'd ever move on from simply posting online but I think it's always important to do what you love, don't you?
Nothing much, aside from work, has been going on in my life right now. I'd go on about how excited for the projects I'm working on right now but that would take too long, and I'm way too tired to be excited. I think I'll start with posting once a week and then we will go from there. I'll try to provide a source of light heart-ed reading. Perhaps some thought provoking (balanced) discussions when my mind is feeling up to it. Until then, take care and be kind to one another (:
What prompted me to come back? Nostalgia, I think. I just came back from a school reunion. It's been 10 years since I graduated from my secondary school and what a 10 years it has been. If I had time, like I did before, I would go through my blog to see how my mind worked back then. But I am battling tiredness and I do actually have a couple of other things I need to do before I head to bed.
I've recently cleared my room, which unearthed multiple diaries that I kept when I was in my younger teen years. That, in turn, stirred up an itch to get writing again. I really should have started writing when I started my new job, since I had so much free time. But unfortunately, I took to other hobbies, like creating my photo albums. Now, I'm so swamped with work that I'm too tired to even think about arranging and writing funny commentary for my photo albums over the weekend. However, I think now that I do have a proper desk with a wonderfully built computer, I should perhaps start dipping my toes into the writing pool. Perhaps maintaining a blog will help with my writers' block. I don't know if I'd ever move on from simply posting online but I think it's always important to do what you love, don't you?
Nothing much, aside from work, has been going on in my life right now. I'd go on about how excited for the projects I'm working on right now but that would take too long, and I'm way too tired to be excited. I think I'll start with posting once a week and then we will go from there. I'll try to provide a source of light heart-ed reading. Perhaps some thought provoking (balanced) discussions when my mind is feeling up to it. Until then, take care and be kind to one another (:
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