That's a saying I've once heard which makes plenty of sense but people hardly put it into practice. After all, why would you need to build your fortress when you are at peace. It's only in the absence of peace that you'll need your fortress to protect you.
Similarly, it's when you're treading water, or swimming spectacularly well in life that you should build your mental and emotional endurance and patience. Because when everything is coming at you at breakneck speed, and there are multiple deadlines to meet, you're going to need that mental endurance to stay the course and complete your journey.
The one thing that has particularly been bothering me these past couple of days, or rather only since yesterday, is how ridiculously slow my computer has been since I did an application update. It stops working for a couple of minutes at a time and just sits there, mocking me, as the wheel turns and turns and turns. The worst part is when you click something and there's no response! How do you fight something you cannot see? Deep down, I think I'm not really upset at my computer because I know I've dealt with and survived on slower computers than this. And some times, that's why we get upset so easily. It's not because we are really upset at what has just happened, we just don't want to admit how something else has caused the imbalance in our world / emotions.
So what is really keeping me up at night with these vivid dreams and ridiculous storylines? I couldn't really pin point on a single issue. There are so many things happening right now that I wish some would just quit and be done with, instead of actually needing my attention.
Torn between staying the course and possibly taking up a new challenge or finding new pastures and looking for new challenges. Torn between staying in my safety net, occasionally dipping my toes in the cool water or slicing through the net and diving into the water.
Life is simple, you make choices and you don't look back.
That's from a movie, Fast and Furious 2, if memory serves me well. I've used it a couple of times and it does serve you well. It just doesn't warn you of the indecision you face until you make that choice and for a person who loves making her pro's and con's lists, it could take a while before I actually make a choice.
Do you ever get over your first legitimate, on a real person, crush? I'm sure majority of the couples in the world do not marry their first crush or even their childhood sweethearts, unless they are extremely fortunate. Then again, most people move on in their lives and don't keep in touch. Although can you really be out of touch these days with a handful of mutual friends? Gone are the days of staying away, hoping out of sight means out of mind which leads to a lack of attraction when all it takes is for a mutual friend to post a picture, tag a name and viola, you know what they've been up to and it's been 2 seconds since you last thought about him. Then again, there are people in this world who suffer worse fates than having to see your crush be happy without you.
It's bordering on midnight now and I've just about given up on making my computer work. Just note down the hundred and one thing that needs to be done in my reliable outlook calendar. Until my computer decides to die due to lack of power, that is. I'll try to write more frequently, although I doubt anyone else is keeping up with this blog. Gone are the days when everyone kept a blog and that was how you kept tabs on your friends and enemies alike. I talk like I've been around for centuries but it does feel like that when your new colleagues were all born in the 90's.
Until next time, which I hope wouldn't be a couple of years from now, thanks for reading & be kind to everyone, including yourself.
