Good Afternoon.
Yes, it is almost lunch but I haven't gone up yet. I might try to finish this post before I go for lunch because I am going to be pretty busy after lunch. Another new assignment regarding the orientation forms. It really is truly beginning to be a hassle. But I must admit, having more things on my plate again is helping with pushing me off the slacking corner. So, my reason for posting is, definitely not uncommon to me. My last post was about church wasn't it? Now, it's another part of my life, in conjunction with church, as usual.
I must insist that the leader of the group has proven himself to be another pain in the behind. No, you wouldn't know his name unless you're a close friend. Especially not after what happened the last time. This is indeed my blog, and I'm not violating any rules, since none of you know his name. Back to the group leader, he is an inconsiderate, intentionally stupid and whipped man. I don't understand how anyone can trust him to do anything when everything he does, is only done half past six! I'm sure his mother didn't instill in him the proper manner of doing something to the best of his ability. Because truly, I don't doubt his ability. I only doubt his heart. How can someone do something that's so sloppy and actually have the face to show it up during Mass? Even I, who have only been in this group for over a month is ashamed! If I had not yet joined the group, when I see the slides, I wouldn't have wanted to join for fear of having my name pulled through the mud at how horribly the slides are done! It really isn't that hard to make the words the same font and size, it essentially the first thing one learns, or does even in face of a blocked mind. I truly don't understand how his mind works. I don't care if it's my mind whose more complicated, or if he's got a smarter mind thus working in ways I know not of, how can anyone, in their right mind, show a PowerPoint presentation that is so sloppy! It is outright disgusting. Although I think I have truly scared away the man from attending mass. It seems maybe, I'm not exactly helping St Anthony's cause. Nevertheless, it is quite pitiful for a grown man to be afraid of a girl whose barely an adult. Yes, I'm still teetering on the edge of adulthood.
The recent problem which has prompted me to blog, thankfully, isn't him. Someone else, has found what he's been looking for and wanting after a few months. It's hard you know, to be happy for someone. The fluttering definitely has to be a fluke, because I've known him for so long, and it's just casual flirting. I know I'm suppose to be happy for him. I know I'm suppose to put on a smile and give him support. I know I'm suppose to be there if he needs a listening ear, even if it is about his relationship problems. I know I'm suppose to be doing all these, but it doesn't help the fact that it's so bloody hard to be doing these things, even when I know I should. This brings back the thoughts on seeing your friends happy with their partners. I'm suppose to be happy for them, I know. It's easy when you love them both as much. It's also much easier when they don't intentionally exclude you when they converse. It is also very much easier when you actually go out with each of them separately. But then, in the dark of the night, when you're alone in bed and your mind runs freely without the confines of work. You just wish that you had someone there to share everything with. It's easier, much easier to be happy for the couple when you're on good terms with both parties. I don't particularly like the girl, as you should have known and thus, not entirely happy for him. I'm trying, I'm trying my best to be happy for him but he really isn't making it very easy either. Or maybe it's just when they get with someone, I get chucked aside like a rag doll. Matt with Sar, Liyle with Princess, maybe it's just the insecurity coming back. And it doesn't help that we had fun just the day before, together. Life really is annoying at times isn't it? And no, I don't think the taking me away from it all wasn't in the slightest casual. When will my heart learn? Sometimes I think never. Well, on a darker note, Johnny didn't drop a note or anything. Maybe it's better this way, easier for my heart to let go than having him around and watch him let go of me.
Well, I guess that is about it. I'm definitely going to start writing again soon. Saturdays spent writing since I've got absolutely nothing else to do. This weekend, I would most likely be perched in front of the television. I do want those tickets to seeing Step Up 2. Doesn't matter whose acting, I'm sure there is bound to be at least one hot girl or guy, I'm really not asking for much. Hahas. I'm not sure if I'm going to watch the Leap Years, we might just rent the DVD. In addition, The Chronicles of Riddick. That guy is made of everything man. Hahas. Well, I guess this is about all I've got to say. I'm definitely adding to my list of things I want, my birthday is only three months and about twenty plus days away. It's never too early to buy me a present. If you change your mind after buying the first present, you can buy me the second one. It really doesn't matter! Hahas. Well, I hope by my birthday, I'll at least be over this pretty depressing part of my life. So, I'm out of here. I'm sure one of the girls are bound to come get me for lunch soon. I'll be seeing you then, thanks for stopping by and for taking time to read this. You don't know how much I appreciate it. I really do. Take care and God bless.
Amanda Loves You (:
